If you have been around these Kazoofus parts for awhile you may have read mention of Craig Harper from time to time. I happen to think the man is absolutely freaking brilliant which is probably why I stalk his blog CraigHarperDotCom.
Today I found a little something that he posted about getting back on the proverbial horse. It's a great little article (go read it now!) and at the end it closes with the following questions. I oftentimes just answer these in my head and move about my day but every now and again I read the questions and decide sharing my thoughts on them here feels more appropriate.
So without further delay Kazoofus Theater now presents...
Craig's questions and KathyHowe's answers.
1. How do we get back on the horse and stay on once and for all?
For as much as I like the idea of staying on the horse forever and ever I am not necessarily convinced this is always realistic. Sometimes we have to hop down for a day or two and sometimes we fall on our heads and stay that way for a long time. That said, I think my "trick" for getting and staying on the horse is to reflect back on earlier times (when I was "off" my horse) to remember why I needed to break that habit, change that ritual or end that relationship in the first place. This is where my journals and blogs really come in handy. Sometimes reading back through those old entries helps me relive the misery or pain or frustration of certain situations which then reminds me that jumping off the horse, even for just a moment, is not advised.
2. How do we deal with the disappointment and pain of previous failed attempts and find the attitude and energy to saddle up yet again?
Oh my god. I swear this question stalked my conversation with AC earlier this week. WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS! I can help people get through their muddy little life messes with relative ease but sometimes following my own advice is hard. Even though I know my "tricks" for getting started or staying on track I sometimes find it hard to get started. I think sometimes I have to remember what my triggers are for restarting myself (like surrounding myself with motivating people, exercise or laughing my ass off watching Triumph the Insult Comic Dog). Sometimes I have to get to a point where I am literally MAD at the situation or emotion I am feeling. If I am feeling down and out for several days in a row I will eventually get to a point where I have to personify my blue ass mood and get aggressive about getting rid of it. I'll actually talk to it. "Bad ass moods are NOT welcome here!" and "In five years you won't even be a MEMORY to me." I'm sure it sounds silly but it works. For me.
3. How do we make our ’sometimes’ behaviours all-the-time behaviours?
This is sometimes hard to do because of freetime or lack of. Exercise is a great example for me here. I am a person that HAS to have an exercise schedule because otherwise I won't exercise consistently. My routine needs to be the same days and the same times each day or it simply doesn't happen. So for me making my sometimes behaviors all-the-time behaviors is about scheduling my behaviors and sticking to the schedule. As much as I would like to be spontaneous I am someone that needs to have a routine. I guess the short answer here is I have to be consistent. Getting on the horse is fairly easy for me. Falling off happens in a blink.
4. How do we ensure that we learn from our mistakes (some of us seem very determined to keep doing what doesn’t work)?
How do we ENSURE this? Gosh. I'm not sure we can. I think as humans we have to be wise enough and strong enough to resist the urge to travel down paths we realize we shouldn't. I think there are certainly "safety nets" we can put in place though to hopefully help prevent us from repeating past mistakes. One of the best is probably surrounding ourselves with the right people. Another is to state our intention, if not to others at least to ourselves. Say it aloud "I will never do that again." And mean it. But make sure you really understand why you don't intend to repeat that same ol' mistake again. This is also (like I mentioned earlier) where reading past journal entries can be helpful.
5. What can we learn from people who always get the job done?
That they don't ALWAYS get the job done. Nobody does. Making mistakes (sometimes the same one more than once) is a part of being human. I think there are certainly people that do BETTER at not repeating the same mistakes over and over again. From them I think we have to learn to see or even ask how they do it. How do they get through tough situations without resorting to bad habits? Again, it is about surrounding ourselves with the RIGHT kinds of people. It's also about not being afraid to ask them for their thoughts, their opinions or even their support while you try to navigate through something in your own life.
