One foot in front of the other.

I ran just under two hours today and was frustrated that nearly every time I checked my iPod (NikePlus) for my pace and distance it told me I had a pace of zero.

I started my run out on the lake which was great for about the first 50 yards where the snow was packed down. It got progressively deeper and when I realized my shoes were starting to feel wet I decided to turn around and hit the road.

I felt like I ran a really great pace considering I ran on or in snow or ice the entire way. All that slip sliding around is quite the workout but maybe the slip sliding is what kept my NikePlus from providing an accurate reading.

When I got home I mapped my run online and found I was just shy of 9 miles. I had wanted to do ten miles but I'm happy with 9.

Speaking of miles, Moose is now getting daily two mile walks and is doing EXCEPTIONALLY well. Playing in snow is still a favorite activity for him and his energy seems endless. There isn't even a hint of a limp anymore.

I bought snowshoes this weekend and have decided that I will try taking Moose out for about four miles on Sunday to see how he does. I know he has the energy for four miles. I'm just hoping the distance doesn't aggravate his shoulder.

It's been a busy but fulfilling weekend. I hope you have had a chance to get out to enjoy some activities yourself.

Dancing in Circles

Progress report - lists, puppies and life

Last night I went out to dinner and a play with The Boy and some other friends. We effectively knocked another item off my 40 before 40 list. We had a GREAT time at the play! If you have a chance to go see Panache at Theater in the Round, do go.

The Boy is quite excited about my 40 before 40 list. I think he spends more time trying to plan how and when I can knock things off the list than I do.

I'm not posting the entire list here but below is a list of the things that are either planned, underway or complete from the list.

1. Do sit-ups every day for 40 days because it is easier, cheaper and less painful than a tummy tuck. Although probably not as effective. - Started December 28. End date: Feb 5
   
2. Get all my CD's on my computer. Completed: December 30, 2009
   
3. Bet on a horse. - This is on the calendar for June.
   
4. Do something completely spontaneous and fun with the kids. Brownie points if it is something we have never done before. Walked across frozen lake with dogs and kids. Jan 3, 2010.
   
5. Go to a play at a local theater. Saw Panache at Theater in the Round in Minneapolis on January 24th with The Boy and other friends. Photo!
   
6. Follow one piece of financial advice that I have never followed before. Checked my credit score and reviewed my credit report for accuracy!! Jan 2010

In other news Moose is doing WONDERFULLY. His hair is really growing back nicely where he was shaved down for surgery. He doesn't limp at all anymore and had his last hydro-therapy session about two weeks ago. He gets LIMITED time off leash to romp and play in the backyard and gets to walk two miles a day now. He is still restricted from jumping activities like jumping out of the back of the Durango and off of furniture. He also has to be watched very closely on stairs as he likes to just bypass the last 4 steps and jump to the bottom. The joint just isn't healed enough to take hits like that. But overall he is doing GREAT and we are SO THRILLED!

The rest of life is going just ducky. I am having what I have dubbed a reunion weekend in that I am catching up with friends that I have not seen much of recently. It started with dinner Friday night with a long-time friend and wraps up today with lunch with some girlfriends.

The kids are doing great and they are very excited that I have decided to do a triathlon. Especially when they figured out that training for this means that as a family we will swim at the local pool about twice a week for several months. My son will crank out 45 minutes of homework without a peep in daycare for the opportunity to hit the pool afterwards. My triathlon has proved to be quite motivating for all of us!

Well, kids. That's about it for now. I need to make a phone call, hit the shower, refill my coffee cup and get some laundry going. Not necessarily in that order though.

Hope you all are doing well. Life is short...get out there and spend some time living and loving it.

Peace.

Bring your "A" game, Mr. Attorney.

It started out innocent enough. My "friend" Billy posted something to his blog about some of his doormats being stolen from his condo. He even included photographs of the rugs that have disappeared one-by-one. I was hoping to ease his obvious pain over the loss of his prized possessions by pointing out that I had a rug identical to one of the rugs he posted about.

The monkey rug.

Now you need to take a moment to go read Billy's post. It is quite well written because in addition to being a fine asstorney attorney he is also a fine writer. I suppose writing skills and a little imagination can be helpful when DREAMING UP FAKE EVIDENCE.

But I digress.

Read his post and notice that he states what appears to be facts along with photos to "substantiate" his claims. If you were skilled in reading attorney-speak like I am you would realize those aren't facts at all. But go ahead and read what Billy wrote with your untrained eye. Experience with attorneys is not required.

No really.

Go read Billy's post now.

I'll wait. You come back here when you are done.

So as you can see I was trying to share a comment that was both on topic with his post but also demonstrated that Billy and I have something in common: the shared attraction to a monkey doormat.

Maybe "attraction" isn't the right word. Suddenly this all seems a bit perverse. Let's try that again.

So as you can see I was trying to share a comment that was both on topic with his post but also served as a reminder that Billy and I have many shared interests that bubble to the surface at the most unusual of times. In this case, we shared an interest in the same style of monkey rug.

Some history:

Billy and I have known one another for MANY years and we regularly discover things that we have in common with one another. For example, Billy and I? We both ADORE his wife, Stacey. Now I realize we adore her IN SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT ways but we both adore Stacey nonetheless.

Also, Billy and I have a shared interest in not pissing Stacey off by talking about the time she puked in a BP parking lot. Billy was pumping gas, I was trapped in the backseat of The Bug and Stacey suddenly had a terrible reaction to some new meds she was on. The rest is history. Billy and I GO OUT OF OUR WAY to not upset Stacey with reminders of that likely humiliating moment in her life.

Billy and I also have come to realize that we are both BIG FANS of my organizing skills. Billy once jetted me out to his hometown for an extended weekend so that I could attempt to make heads and/or tails of his home office. That is when Billy realized what I had known all along: I am exceptionally organized.

So as you can see, Billy and I have come to know a great deal about one another over the years and have discovered many shared interests. What I just learned today is that he is apparently always in attorney mode because my INNOCENT COMMENT was attacked with this response:

So, it's obvious to me that you came to Cleveland and decided to take my rug without even knocking on the door and visiting. That's just like you to do something like that.

BILL -- From my iPhone

You can imagine my heartbreak after reading that message. Accusing ME of flying to CLEVELAND to steal a doormat!?!? Puh.Leaze. Everybody knows Rug USA has all the awesome rugs.

Anyhoo. I couldn't let these accusations go without a response so I decided to share evidence of my rug ownership. I sent Billy this reply:

Oh no. I am CERTAIN I had my rug first! I have photographic EVIDENCE! Taken September 17, 2007, dude...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kazoofus/1367954997/in/set-72157594320910757

I was certain this was a closed case but Billy is a persistent fucker attorney and clearly has YEARS more experience than I do at this legal schmegal crap. He sent me this:

Kathy --

This is getting quite serious. I have a photo of MY monkey rug from April 5 , 2007. Damn nice Persian rug, too.

MY rug was stolen after 10:30 p.m. on September 9, 2007, and before 6:55 a.m. on September 10, 2007. The reason I know this is that it happened after the Cleveland Browns - Pittsburgh Steelers football game after I took the dogs out at night and before I took them out in the morning.

Where were you late on the night of September 9, 2007? Can you account for your whereabouts during the early morning hours of September 10, 2007?

So, I don't doubt that you have TRIED to cover your tracks by posting a photo on your flickr page. That PROVES you had it after MY rug was stolen. And the theft could be blamed on some drunken football fan trying to gain access to the deck door, which is just a few feet from our door. You are very clever; but if you compare MY rug to the rug you claim is yours, they are identical -- the SAME rug!!!!!!!!! (I don't ordinarily use exclamation points like that, but I felt the use of that many very effective under the attendant circumstances.)

If you check with your beloved Minneapolis-based Target, you will discover that the rug was discontinued before you acquired what you claim to be your rug. Also, there are shoes in the picture of MY rug. You can't even compose the elements of your photo without copying.

Got any other excuses that you call "evidence?"

Bill

P.S. -- By the way, who is "jgcf?" She probably stole the MY second monkey rug, which was a damaged returned item that I was able to get from the local Target. (They wouldn't sell it to me until I started weeping about my first rug being stolen.)

She commented on YOUR flickr site: "My daughter loves monkeys, and demands to know where you got that. She NEEDS it."

Obviously, she got your help in taking my second monkey rug. You told her where you got yours (Did she pay you for the information?). She came to Cleveland and took my rug because of you.

Now, I know why you didn't come to visit us when you were so warmly and lovingly invited: GUILT!

First of all, Billy's Persian rug is from Ikea. Persian my ass.

Second, what Billy doesn't realize is that my photo of MY monkey rug has a DATE STAMP ON IT. His photo does not.

As you read through his seemingly well-crafted response you noticed he questioned my whereabouts on the evening of September 9th, 2007.

Everybody knows that the evening of September 9th I was busy unpacking from a girls camping weekend. Do you know how hard it is to get jello shot stains OUT OF khaki shorts? I was glued to the bottle of Spray n Wash which is not FAA approved for flights. NOR IS MY WASHER DRYER.

Also, I couldn't have POSSIBLY been flying to Cleveland that evening because I was trying to get 200 photos of me attempting to drink a beer AND hula hoop off my camera and onto my computer. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THE LAPTOP IN THIS PHOTO, BILLY:



That shit isn't MOBILE. It's a dogdamn BOAT ANCHOR. I can't fly with that unless I buy an extra ticket so it can have a seat of its own. The FAA classified it as a flight risk due to SIZE ALONE.

So there you have it, kids. Lots of talk and no evidence. Quite possibly a sign of an attorney gone mad. I've heard that it happens but I have never witnessed it firsthand and let me tell you. That shit ain't pretty.

Evidence. Pffft.

It ain't Easy Street, that's for sure.

Whoever coined the phrase "breaking up is hard to do" stated something obvious. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are or who made the decision or even how amicably it ended, breaking up is hard in all scenarios.

I'm feeling exceptionally fortunate that AC and I have split VERY amicably. Honestly, I can't imagine it going any other way with him. He is a very kindhearted person, very level headed, quite fair and exceptionally logical. Honestly, I'd be stunned if this had gone down in proverbial flames.

Earlier this week we spent about an hour and a half on the phone talking about this, that and the other. It wasn't emotional or accusatory or a negative experience in any sort of way. It was two people who have a mutual respect and trust in one another talking about things that are usually kept semi-private.

While I still wish things had worked out differently for us, I am incredibly happy that our friendship, the foundation for our relationship, remains in good standing.

He is definitely a good person.

Nonetheless breaking up with someone changes things. Despite the fact that AC and I didn't see each other often, there is still a change in certain routines that has to take place following a break-up.

There are no more daily email exchanges and the daily phone calls have ceased. The time is now spent trying to remember what I did with my time BEFORE he and I were in a relationship. It wasn't THAT long ago but yet I forget all the little things I did to pass the time.

I have been the Break-Up Buddy for friends in the past and I am lucky that my longtime friend and confidant, The Boy, knows all too well the value of a Break-Up Buddy. He knows that there are temptations to call the ex and he understands that sometimes the silence of losing your daily check-in person is deafening. He knows the millions of ways our heads spin around the "what-ifs" and "maybe I shoulda's" and he fully comprehends the self doubt that sometimes makes us question if we really did all we could do to make it work.

The night that AC and I broke up my kids were off to their dads for the weekend. I sent The Boy a text immediately after the break-up to let him know what had happened knowing fully that he was at work at the time and probably couldn't talk. He responded with "Will be there at 7:30. Dinner, dancing, etc."

Which is funny because that man NEVER dances.

And at 7:30 he was sitting on my couch trying to make me forget that I was immensely sad, urging me to finish my beer so we could go get some food because he just KNEW I was in no frame of mind to cook dinner.

Am I ever?

We were up talking until about 3am about remodeling projects, bike rides, romance, friends, kids, the movie Bodyguard with Whitney Houston, my 40 before 40 list and God only knows what else. We ate popcorn, watched some infomercials and caught up on the gossip about our mutual friends. I finally fell asleep on a giant sumo bean bag on my living room floor and he zonked out on the couch. I never even went upstairs to wash my face or put on jammies. It has been YEARS since he and I have had a slumber party like that and it was a much needed distraction from where my heart and head wanted to go that night.

More often than not I am the one playing the role of break-up buddy for other people and sometimes I forget the value of that role in our life. The Boy has been my rock this week, just has he has been my rock in the past. As hard as it is to digest the changed relationship with AC this week I have been reminded at how lucky I am lucky in more ways in one.

2010 races

You know that saying "when it rains it pours"? Turns out it applies to all kinds of things.

I recently registered to run the Fargo Half Marathon again.

May 22
Fargo Half Marathon

I haven't thought much about doing anything else. One half marathon seemed lovely. Until I started getting calls and emails from well meaning friends...

About a week ago my friend Jen pinged me about a half marathon in her town in July. It will be her first! I have never been to Missouri to see her so I thought what the hell! Lets do this!

July 3
Kirksville Half Marathon

Last Friday my girlfriend Kelly called me up. The last time I chatted with her was when I took the kids to her place for some horseback riding over the summer. She just signed herself up for Iron Girl. That Kelly is cuh-ray-zee! She is also a helluva a sales person. From here on out I will answer to Iron Kathy.

September 26
Iron Girl

Then this week one of my running buddies announced he will be doing a triathlon this summer. We had chatted about a duathlon last summer but never did anything about actually DOING ONE. Well this is it. He's doing it by golly. This is his year. And now it is my year too.

July 10
Lifetime Fitness Triathlon

Then there is Kate. Dear, sweet Kate. Kate has been trying to convince me to make a trip to the DC area for about two years now. This week she emailed me some race info for the area and went on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnnn about how educational the trip would be for the kids! And I'm sure my mom would be THRILLED to join me on a destination race that isn't in Fargo. No offense, Fargo.

So still TBD is an east coast race.

And Goddess help me that should be it for my 2010 race schedule.

Amen.

Uncoupled.

When I am away from the computer I find my mind racing with thousands of thoughts that I want to capture here.

Every time I get here, they escape me.

POOF!

Gone.

I hate that.

That's a wrap.

There really is no good way to post these messages and believe me, I know. I've done this a time or two in the past.

AC and I broke up this weekend.

It was a hard decision and it wasn't made quickly. I'm not going to get into any more details about the break-up. The details are between AC and I.

I will say that I continue to care a lot about AC and I am hopeful that we will be able to maintain our friendship when all is said and done. Everything I have ever said about him is absolutely true. He is a WONDERFUL person with a huge heart and I consider myself very lucky to have had the past 7 months to get to know him so much better.

To everyone that supported, encouraged and cheered us on in this relationship, thank you. I think we were both really thrilled that others shared our excitement with us.

Peace out.

40 days of sit-ups

I'm pretty darn happy with my ability to stay on track with this for 10 days!

I have discovered the secret to being motivated!

Saturday it was a chilly -17 degrees here in the Twin Cities. The kids and I had talked earlier in the week about doing some snowshoeing that day but waking up to -17 was not very encouraging.

I spent the better part of the morning trying to decide if we should go or better yet, if I really WANTED to go with a temperature off -17 when this thought flashed through my mind:

"If I wait for the PERFECT WINTER WEATHER DAY, we will never go snowshoeing."

Not that perfect winter weather never comes to the fine, fine state of Minnesota. But when it comes we are often otherwise committed to other activities. So I decided that we were going to bundle up and stick to our plan and do at least SOME snowshoeing on Saturday.

We were out for about an hour and had a BLAST! I'm sure we would have stayed out a bit longer had the temperature been something warmer that -17 but we had a great day nonetheless.

When I got home I took a warm shower and got dressed. The kids and I had already planned out our evening activity: a trip to Barnes and Noble. While I was getting ready to head out again I started thinking about motivation.

What is it and where does it really come from?

What is it that separates motivated people from unmotivated people?

And I came to the following conclusion.

When I am feeling unmotivated I am usually doing something sedetary and mindless. It could be killing time doing mindless activities on the internet, surfing channels from the recliner or laying on the couch staring at the ceiling. When I am in that mindset of being unmotivated and am wanting to GET MOTIVATED what is it I am typically doing?

Usually when I am trying to find my motivation I am trying to CONVINCE myself to get up and be productive.

I tell myself things like:

"You'll feel better if you get up and get this done."

and

"You'll feel guilty about wasting this day doing nothing."

I then try to talk myself into getting up and getting busy.

I try to envision what my day will look like and how I will feel once I get up off that couch and get going.

I imagine seeing people at the office on Monday and what I will tell them about my weekend.

I spend a lot of time trying to mentally convince myself that getting up and being productive is a good idea.

And that is the problem.

I am talking to the wrong part of my body when I talk to my brain.

Now my brain is no rocket scientist but it does have some basic skills that kill my ability to be/get motivated. It is big enough and smart enough to talk me out of all kinds of things. Even the good ideas.

"Get up off the couch and go to the grocery store so we have something to eat in this house."

My brain has enough wit and skill to respond with:

"Bah! It is COLD out there! Order some pizza to be delivered!"

To which I think:

"But ordering delivered pizza is much more expensive than just buying the stuff and making it here."

And my brain responds:

"BAH! Have you seen your paychecks? You can afford it!! Stay warm and order the dogdamn pizza!"

To which I think:

"OK. Done. Get me the phone."

That little scenario of trying to convince my brain to get up and get busy NEVER EVER EVER WORKS.

But I have figured out what does work. It is as simple as talking to the RIGHT body part. The brain is the wrong audience for this dialogue.

When I need to get up off that couch and hit the grocery store, run 5 miles or go snowshoeing what I need to do is tell it to my legs.

"Hey legs! Put your feet on the floor and without any hesitation stand up, walk up the stairs, get dressed, get outside and get your stuff done."

To which my legs reply:

"Doh. OK."

And they go.

Why? Because my legs cannot reason, debate or apply any logic to anything. They can only do what they are told to do.

And I think this idea of talking to my legs can be applied to other body parts as well. If I need to get through a pile of email at work I should not try telling that to my brain. I need to tell my fingers and eyeballs to get busy.

"Hey Fingers! Start logging into email and scrolling through the list!"

"Hey Eyeballs! Start reading!"

"Hey Fingers! After the eyeballs read you will have a job to do. You'll either need to type a reply, forward the message or file it away. BE READY!"

So I am going to apply this little idea of talking to body parts to finding my motivation to see if it works.

This really ties nicely to my running buddies NO EXCUSES mantra. I still use that every day when it comes to exercising. If the idea of telling body parts what to do seems to complicated, check out what I wrote about NO EXCUSES over here. Or what my running bud wrote about it over here.

Ready? Set? GO!!!!!!!

Last weeks AHA moment was eye-opening for me.

Without giving away too many private details (mine or others) I want to try to share the story of how I had an AHA moment recently.

First I'll explain what an AHA moment is because someone did ask me this once. I describe AHA moments as flashes of brilliance or insight. A moment of clarity. Something that makes you feel instantly wiser.

I was on the phone with The Boy and we were discussing our current relationships (with other people). He was telling me about a conversation he had with his girlfriend and then pinned me with "YOU would NEVER let me get away with saying THAT!"

He was without a doubt frustrated by his girlfriends response to something he said.

I very quickly agreed with him. He was right in that I would never ever let him utter such a statement without busting him on it. And I wouldn't even think twice about doing so.

He went on to add that THIS was precisely why his current relationship was failing. He needs her to be as open with him as I would be. He needs her to be direct and honest with her comments and to say whatever it is she has to say with confidence. She has to be able to say things to him that he may or may not want to hear and he needs her to say things he may or may not agree with.

It is in those moments, he told me, that trust is built.

It is in those moments that relationships become real.

I agreed. He is absolutely right. Saying what is on our mind with confidence is critical to building stronger, healthier, more lasting relationships.

He questioned why it was that I could say things to him so freely and she could not. Without a second of hesitation I told him exactly why.

Because he and I have nearly twenty years of history together.

We weren't always like this. It took time, patience and even a few fights throughout the years to get us TWENTY YEARS INTO one of the best friendships of my life.

It was in that conversation that I realized that these bonds don't happen in an instant and they don't happen in six months or a year.

They require time.

Who else might I feel this great of a bond with if only they were given the same amount of time?

This poem never gets old.

The Dance
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don't jump up and shout, "Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!"
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiralling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul's desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs you want our children's children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle
not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don't say, "Yes!"
Just take my hand and dance with me.

A Moose that isn't on the loose.

It is probably about time that I update ya'all on Moose's shoulder surgery that took place on December 1st.

His surgery went well, he spent a night in the hospital and is now in the process of recovering.

He has a lot of restrictions like he cannot run or jump. This means he cannot have free roam of the house or even the fenced in back yard. He has to be kenneled or leashed and supervised at all times.

If he comes down hard on his paws he risks re-injuring his shoulder joint which would be NO GOOD FOR MY WALLET. Or his health. So he has lived a rather low-key life these past several weeks.

His recovery routine has consisted of ice packs then heating pads multiple times a day. Various stretching exercises and recently he started going to hydrotherapy for dogs. He had his second session just this past weekend and they feel like he is doing really great with his recovery.

Moose was given the green light to start going on walks up to 30 minutes in length now. He has been unable to exercise like a puppy of his age should exercise the past several weeks so he has lost a lot of muscle in that shoulder/leg. The goal now is to start slowly rebuilding that muscle.

As of mid to late last week he has stopped limping. Well, I should rephrase that. He doesn't limp CONSTANTLY anymore. Now if he limps it is usually because he had a good little workout. So in those instances it is back to the heat/ice rotation and slow stretches.

All in all he has been a FANTASTIC patient. Both in the pool and at home. I feel sad for him though. It is like he is being robbed of his puppyhood because of this injury but I am really optimistic he will make an absolutely fabulous recovery.

Based on my last glance to the bottom of the medicine bottle he has about 3 days left of pain pills left. I am REALLY REALLY REALLY hopeful that he will do fine without them. I think the days following the absence of medication will be really telling.

The trainer at the pool keeps talking about 12 weeks for this that and the other. Tomorrow is week 4. I can't imagine another 8 weeks of this but we will do it (whatever IT needs to be) because doing it is what is going to make him better.

I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone last night and gave him an update on Moose's injury, surgery and recovery. His immediate reaction was "OUCH! That must hurt the wallet." and I agreed. None of this has been cheap but when I bring a pet in to this house I bring it in for the long haul.

For better or worse.

Whatever it takes.

We're going to get Moose through this.

To everyone that has emailed or called or asked about him, thank you. He is doing really well and on the path to a complete recovery.

Just 8 more weeks to go...

There is one last thing I want to tell you and I am not telling you this to look like some sort of hero. There's a message here. Stick with me.

I have a dog named Outlaw who is nearly 12 years old. I paid about $15 for him and other than his annual vet checks and the expense of owning/feeding a dog, he hasn't cost me much of anything.

Moose is a different story. As a purebred dog from a very reputable breeder I spent a rather large chunk of change to purchase him. When all is said and done his surgery/vet bills, prescriptions and fees for physical therapy will have cost me in the neighborhood of $1800.

Buying/acquiring a pet is a commitment and sometimes it is a very expensive commitment. I have been VERY lucky to have acquired Outlaw so inexpensively and to have him live a long and healthy life that didn't cause great damage to my savings account. In Moose's 7 months of life he has cost me A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY.

Here's the point I want to make: I love Moose with all my heart. No different than my love for Outlaw. I know a lot of people that are thinking about purchasing a pet right now and regardless of how/where you get a pet, I think being a pet owner is a WONDERFUL THING.

But only if you can afford it.

Do you know how completely and totally devastated I would have been if I could not have afforded Moose's medical care? $1800 is not chump change and god help me, I pray that is the last of his medical issues. But as a pet owner I know that there is a chance it is not.

If you are thinking about getting a pet please keep in mind that there may very well be circumstances such as an unexplainable lesion growing on a shoulder joint that could cost you thousands of dollars to repair.

You HAVE to have a game plan for caretaking your pets.

It is the responsible thing to do.

And that, my friends, is the financial side of my speech. Maybe later I can tell you about the time commitment of pet ownership.

**jumps off soapbox**

40 days of sit-ups starts NOW!

For anyone that would like to follow along I'll be posting my sit-up results each day to the sit-ups logger website over here.

On the off chance that the URL doesn't take you directly to my profile my username is khowedotcom. There is a "Search User" link on the left side of the page. You can look me up there.

I will be using this definition of a sit-up for the next 40 days although I reserve the right to do my sit-ups with the assistance of my lovely blue exercise ball. Sit-ups can be a bitch on back muscles and the exercise ball provides nice support which I may or may not take advantage of.

Tonight I did the "initial test" over on the Two Hundred Sit-Ups website to see how many GOOD sit-ups I could do.

Drum roll please....

I made it to 100 and I feel pretty damn good about that. Of course tomorrow when my abs feel like someone is twisting a knife in them I will probably only squeak out 5 or 6 sit-ups.

With the list of 40 things fresh on my brain I have decided against developing a separate list of resolutions for the New Year. I think getting through this list is going to take an act of God as it is.

Are you making any resolutions this year?

40 things to do before I'm 40

This list was inspired by Sugar Jones. She recently tweeted about drafting her own list of 40 things to do before she turns 40.

I have no clue how long she has until she is 40 but I have 8 months to go until my 40th. So I better get started ASAP!

Here's my list:

1. Visit Schells Brewery in New Ulm, Minnesota.
2. Visit New Glarus Brewing Company in New Glarus, Wisconsin.
3. Climb a rock wall.
4. Take a picture inside a mens restroom to prove that I was inside a mens restroom.
   
5. Run 40 miles in one calendar month.
   
6. Get my motorcycle endorsement.
7. Do sit-ups every day for 40 days because it is easier, cheaper and less painful than a tummy tuck. Although probably not as effective.
8. Celebrate one year anniversary with AC.
9. Unclutter my attic before it caves in on my vehicle that rests below it.
10. Check my mail or take out the trash after dark, without a big dog or mace and without being scared out of my mind while doing it.
11. Do a photo inventory of the house and belongings. Post to Flickr for safekeeping.
12. Watch a classic movie. You know, something that doesn't have Sandra Bullock in it.
13. Get all my CD's on my computer.
14. Plan myself a super duper crazy awesome 40th birthday party.
15. Go to a store with Personal Shoppers and have them select an outfit that strays from what I would typically wear. Buy said outfit.
16. Take an improv class.
17. Try rollerblading again. Maybe try it more than once.
    
18. Read some of the books sitting on my nightstand.
19. Run around the lake by my house (approximately 13 miles).
    
20. Write something that I am really really proud of.
21. Bet on a horse.
22. Kiss in the rain. AC willing.
23. Take a roadtrip with absolutely no prior planning whatsoever. Pack the car and go. Somewhere. Anywhere...
    
24. Take an overnight trip. By bicycle.
25. Do something completely spontaneous and fun with the kids. Brownie points if it is something we have never done before.
    
26. Take a fitness class. Kettlebells, perhaps?
27. Shoot a gun.
28. Get rid of shoes, clothes, accessories and purses that I don't actually use/wear anymore.
29. Leave the country. Even if it is only to cross the border into Canada.
30. Go to a play at a local theater.
31. Meet someone in person that I originally met online.
32. Attend a murder mystery dinner.
33. Touch a snake. If I'm feeling really brave I'll actually hold it.
    
34. Follow one piece of financial advice that I have never followed before.
35. Watch a bat show in my backyard without my tennis racket.
36. Create a list of 40 things that rock my world.
    
37. Meditate more. Hell, at this point meditating at all equals MORE. It has been tooooo long!
    
38. Go through photos from my childhood with my kids. Share with them some of the stories of my youth.
39. Drink something with an umbrella in it. And no. I won't stuff an umbrella into a bottle of beer.
40. Learn something new.
    

Now lets hope that some of this stuff is also on my boyfriends to-do list.

Let's go!

I hate to get ahead of myself with the holidays but...

I was just looking for my 2009 resolutions and found them over here. Go ahead and read them in full if you are interested but I'm going to summarize them here and include an update as to how I think I did this year. My updates are in italics.

First: Continue with my recently revamped fitness routine.

With that inspiration I decided to up my workouts to one full hour each and every day. Now there is no doubt that there will be missed days because life happens. But that is the goal I now reach for. One hour, seven times a week.

I certainly didn't workout 365 times this year but I worked out a lot and I was really aware of putting in the time necessary. I think having a half marathon to look forward to in Spring of 2009 really helped to keep me on track at the start of the year.

Second: Reduce the internet clutter.

I'm not saying the internet is a bad place to spend time, in fact I rather enjoy it on a very regular basis. There are plenty of websites I enjoy writing on, socializing on and reading. But lately I have felt inundated with a lot of meaningless junk and it is for that reason I am reviewing my list of regularly read sites and shit-canning as many as I can from my news reader.

This felt incredibly freeing. I need to do it again.

Third: Pursue thy passion.

One of the things I have missed about my life in recent years is pursuing various passions. They could be entrepreneurial pursuits or just other general interests. I did well with my first round of 365 a year or so ago but that is the biggest and only real self-fulfilling quest I can think of in recent years. There are so many things I am interested in doing, researching and trying. It is time to make a list, check it twice and make a plan for moving forward with some of it. Unfortunately so much of it has just been pushed to the side because I am so busy sifting through internet clutter. No more.

Although I can't name anything really specific at off the top of my head I certainly spent 2009 doing things my way. I attended more career focused training than ever before and enjoyed some usual trips with friends during summer months. I also chose to scale back some of my summer travels and I definitely enjoyed being home a bit more. It was refreshing to hang out in the neighborhood during the summer months.

So how did you do with your resolutions for 2009? Are you happy with how you spent your year?

Apologies

I am getting spammed like crazy with junk comments and had to turn on word verification.

I will try shutting it off again in a few weeks.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

The Inner Tyrant

Oriah Mountain Dreamer remains one of the most inspiring people I have ever encountered in my life. I recently connected with her via Facebook (Oriah House) and now follow her blog

She recently posted a something titled The Inner Tyrant. This closing paragraph stuck with me:

What happens with any fundamentalism is that the principle that is being held takes precedent over human beings, over life itself. And our inner fundamentalist cannot keep us safe. Even if it was possible to know and tell some kind of mythical absolute truth 100% of the time, that would not keep me “safe.” Because of all the wonderful things life is, safe is not one of them, and at the root of any fundamentalism is anxiety- sometimes terror- about the wild and woolly risk of living fully, knowing that difficult things can and will happen.

All Moms Are Fallible

If you do not know the story of Shellie Ross that has exploded on the internet this week, you should read this post here over at TellingDad. It is probably the best thing I have read on the subject.

The short version of the story is this: Shellie's two year old son died in a pool accident at her home in Florida this week. Since that time she has been attacked online (cyberbullied really) by several people (one in particular) for her "role" in her sons death. It is horrendous to see how this grieving mother has been brutalized by another human being at such an awful time in her life.

I have stolen the title of this post (All Moms Are Fallible) from Jessica Gottlieb. Her version of what I am about to write is here.

In the spirit of supporting Shellie and any other parent that has lost a child in a tragic accident I now bring you the Kazoofus version of:

All Moms Are Fallible

When my daughter was a waddling, toddling 1 year old she walked into my bedroom closet. When she came out she was screaming her ass off with blood pouring down her face. Total damage: about 4 stitches above her left eye.

When she was two years old she donned her best fuzzy slippers and attempted to shimmy up a bookcase. She failed miserably. Total damage: a bite clear through the corner of her lip resulting in several more stitches.

When I took my pregnancy test for my son I misread the results. It said I was pregnant, I thought it said I was not. I had several beers that night. One week later I retested and quickly realized my mistake. Shit.

My son has visited the head trauma specialist at the E.R. more times than I could possibly remember.

I do however clearly remember the day he fell from the very top of the monkey bars at daycare. Total damage: one broken arm.

I also remember the day he fell off of a merry-go-round at a nearby playground. Total damage: seven staples in the back of his head. Without a doubt the most disgusting injury I have ever laid eyes on.

When I was a nanny in the early 90's I watched one of my small charges (two years old at the time) go head over heals down a flight of hardwood stairs. Total damage: bumps and bruises to his body and just as many to my heart.

My son was bit by one of my sisters dog a couple summers ago. Total damage: a puncture wound on my son.

And no.

I did not sue my sister.

I usually fall asleep on the couch when I am supposed to be watching movies with the kids.

I flat out REFUSE to have anything to do with loose teeth. That's for the dentist to deal with.

I have set off the burglar alarm and the fire alarm in my house. A lot.

I once rear-ended another vehicle.

My kids have fallen out of their beds on more than one occasion.

When my son was tall enough to stand in his crib he quickly learned to hoist himself up over the railing and landed flat on his face. Repeatedly.

I can't cook but somehow we manage to stay well fed in this house.

I swear in front of my kids and sometimes, I *gasp* yell.

I have hurt their feelings and I suspect I will do this again in the future.

I have said and done things that I later regretted.

I have wished I could fix or change the events of my past.

I have apologized for mistakes I have made.

When my daughter was about three years old she jumped into an indoor pool even after I had warned her not to get too close. I was standing within REACH of her when she did it. I was fully clothed, winter boots and all. She sunk straight to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. I had to dive in after her.

Kids move goddamn FAST.

Moms, dads and even children are human. So are nannies, uncles, aunts and daycare providers. We make mistakes. We are not bulletproof.

Tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

Peace to Shellie.

Peace to all.

You might be sick to death of reading about my cervix

But ABC News is not.

I was interviewed for a story in November and it is available HERE for anyone that is interested.

So many memories came back to me like a tidal wave when I received the interview request. I found myself pouring through Kazoofus archives reliving my own story.

What a life changing experience those years were. It's nice to be on the other side of that.